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Choose the Right College & Get Accepted! - University of Portland Essay
 
Successful Application Essay to the University of Portland

from CHOOSE THE RIGHT COLLEGE & GET ACCEPTED!, a Students Helping Students® guide


Upon my four years as a student of Sandy High School I have had numerous people enter my life and just as many exit. But through this growing process there is one individual, a teacher, I hold in high regard that has helped me expand my understanding of writing, revealing the art that it is.

I entered his Advanced Composition class as a naïve sophomore, believing I had everything under control. Writing was something that had always come naturally to me, allowing me to move swiftly through past English courses without hindrance. My misguided assumption was abruptly transposed into a blood-chilling fear for my very life. He walked into the classroom and announced in a calm patient voice, that seemed to be hiding something behind it, “My name is Roger Shepard, you will address me as Mr. Shepard, you may not call me Roger until you graduate and if you do this is what will happen to you.” As he said this he raised a large cane into the air above his head and slammed it on the desk nearest him. He continued, “I expect to receive nothing less than perfection relating to your papers and you have a paper due tomorrow morning discussing what writing is to you. Remember, perfection…” Thus ended my first day of Advanced Composition, I wanted to die.

My papers were far from perfect and Mr. Shepard became my worst critic. He urged me to reach higher, push myself harder, and put more effort into my work. Every paper I presented to him, he could rip it apart. Even the papers I thought were immaculate could not survive the expectations of that man. In my mind he slowly transformed into an Advanced Composition god, one that would never be appeased with the tainted offerings of his feeble-witted worshippers.

But as time went by I began to realize that every piece of criticism he presented me with was with my best interests at hand, always; everything he told me was for the betterment of me and my work, helping to guide me towards higher learning. As I started to apply his critiques my papers improved gradually, they were in constant growth throughout the remainder of the year.

That class was the most difficult of my high school career and it was because of him, the crazed god of Composition. He pushed my writing abilities far beyond anything I had ever hoped to achieve alone. He understood that my knack for writing could be cultivated into something much bigger and more useful to me later in life. But most importantly, he was willing to put time and effort into the gift he saw in me. Mr. Shepard taught me never to be satisfied with the mediocre and to always strive to do my best at everything.


Essay strengths:

• The introduction is direct and tells the admissions committee what this essay is about.
• Honestly-written and sounds like the applicant talking rather than overusing big words that don’t seem natural.
• Shows the applicant’s passion for hard work.

Could improve:

• The writing in the essay is sometimes choppy and could benefit from a few revisions focused specifically on sentence structure and word choice.


Copyright © by NATAVI GUIDES.




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