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COMIC RELIEF: LAUNDRY DAYS
by
Jay Harris
Junior, Columbia University
Sooner or later, it happens: You run out of socks, underwear, or clothes, in general, and you’re reduced to walking around campus naked. Don’t let nudity happen to you!
I stared into the face of nudity several times freshman year, and I was only able to pull through each near-naked experience by dragging three bags of dirty clothes down to the laundry room—six washers and six dryers for six hundred students. Every trip down to the laundry room is fraught with suds and lint, and I always make sure to say a little prayer to the Laundry Gods: “Please, don’t shrink my clothes or let the colors run,” before my ritual sacrifice of detergent and fabric softener. The Laundry Gods, however, have a sense of humor.
In my first near-naked experience, I got into a fight with a dryer (but the dryer started it). The dryer claimed that it was “done,” but my clothes weren’t dry. So I used my male fix-it intuition and kicked the dryer. Oddly enough, my clothes were still wet. I hadn’t kicked the dryer hard enough, but after several more rounds with the dryer, I gave up and took my wet clothes back to my room in defeat. I hung underwear on my floor lamp and socks from my TV antennas, and the next morning, I avoided nudity, but not dampness. The lesson: If the dryer doesn’t work, you must kick it harder than I can.
There was another near-naked experience where the Laundry Gods to decided to mix in with my clothes some underwear that was, um, more feminine than my typical underwear.
The lesson: If you find women’s underwear in your laundry, and you don’t wear women’s underwear, don’t tell your floor mates because they will laugh at you and make the same unfunny joke that you are thinking of right now.
Want to read more personal stories like this? Then buy NAVIGATING YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR, a Students Helping Students® guide!
Go to >>> Freshman Year - Home
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